How To Overcome Social Anxiety: 7 Tips And Tricks
We all have that one awkward friend who is afraid of social situations. They would rather sleep than go on a date or read a book than go to the club. They often give the perfect excuses for missing social gatherings or the best reasons they’d rather not go. If you have this kind of friend or you are that friend who makes all the excuses, chances are that you could have social anxiety.
The National Institute of Mental Health estimates that about 12.1% of American adults and 9.1% of Adolescents in America have experienced a social anxiety disorder at one point in their lives. Females and younger adults appeared to suffer from this kind of anxiety the most.
What is social anxiety?
Social anxiety, also called social phobia, is marked by a fear of social situations. People with social anxiety avoid gatherings for fear of scrutiny, embarrassment, or humiliation. While they may be more comfortable with people they are generally used to, individuals with this disorder find themselves avoiding strangers and acquaintances.
This could have negative impacts on their relationships at work or school. It could also make it difficult for affected individuals to enjoy common everyday activities like going on dates, eating out, or attending classes.
Causes of social anxiety
Anyone can experience social anxiety for several reasons. Here are some common causes of social anxiety disorder.
1. Traumatic experiences
Exposure to traumatic life experiences can cause individuals to embrace antisocial behavior to cope with stress. This kind of behavior could result from victims creating coping strategies for experiences such as sexual assault, domestic violence, bullying, and many other painful experiences.
Birthed from a realization that the world is a wicked place and humans shouldn’t be trusted, victims may feel anxious whenever they are exposed to other people, especially triggers. For example, a girl who was raped might develop social anxiety disorder around men.
2. Overprotective upbringing
A child’s self-image and perception of the world could be influenced by parents who are overbearing, quick to judge, unwilling to express affection, or too preoccupied with other people’s opinions.
When nurtured in this setting, children and teenagers may develop greater levels of dread and distrust of other people, as well as diminished levels of self-worth and self-confidence. In these situations, parents may not be aware of the harm they are causing, but their tendency to dwell on the bad may unintentionally cause problems for their kids in the future.
3. Cultural or religious reasons
Religious and cultural constructs such as gender role identification or collectivism can affect a person psychologically to the point where they start to show socially awkward behavior. Both religion and culture have used shame to marginalize individuals who go against the norm, thereby causing them to experience anxiety.
4. Genetics
It is not exactly clear if parenting style or actual genetics is responsible. Still, it has been observed that individuals with parents who suffer social anxiety have a 30% – 40% chance of suffering the same.
Symptoms of social anxiety
Social anxiety can express itself in various forms. You may show physical symptoms, behavioral symptoms, and/or social symptoms. Some of the symptoms are listed below.
1. Physical symptoms
Physical symptoms show physically and are easily observed by other people. They include:
- Profuse sweating.
- Palpitations.
- Excessive blushing.
- Shaky voice.
- Dry mouth.
- Dizziness.
- Tremors.
2. Behavioral symptoms
Behavioral symptoms are not easy to recognize by other people, but if you have a keen eye, you’ll notice these signs in anyone who is having social anxiety. They are:
- Difficulty making eye contact.
- Self-conscious/unusual posture.
- Shyness.
3. Social symptoms
Social symptoms are very difficult to recognize by others because they sometimes sound truly genuine rather than an excuse. In most cases, only the anxious individual understands that he or she is being evasive. Some of these symptoms are:
- Giving excuses to miss events.
- Avoiding dates and social gatherings.
- Avoiding confrontations.
- Difficulty leading conversations.
7 tips to get rid of social anxiety
1. Maintain a healthy lifestyle
Eating right, having healthy sleep patterns, and regularly exercising can help you feel better long-term if you suffer from social anxiety. Regular exercise helps to improve mood by relaxing the muscles, thereby easing anxiety.
Additionally, exercise keeps you in shape and even boosts your self-esteem. A combination of good sleep, a healthy diet, and regular exercise will help you feel optimal and likely ease the stress of social anxiety.
2. Join a support group
Being in the company of like minds has a certain effect. It makes you feel less isolated and comforts you with the knowledge that you are not alone on your journey; neither are you the freak that some think you are. This is one of the benefits of being in a support group. It makes your recovery much easier and enjoyable.
You may feel queasy and want to run out the door the first time you walk into a room full of strangers but finding the courage to hang on could be your first breakthrough in living a more socially balanced life. Having conversations with other participants is the best way to practice your responses in social situations.
3. Celebrate your wins
When you achieve participate in small social activities and interactions, commend yourself. It is usually not an easy feat to face your fears, and doing that should make you happy enough to celebrate.
You can order something lovely for yourself or treat yourself to your favorite snack. Having such a reaffirming attitude not only encourages you to be more open but could gradually help you get rid of social anxiety in the long run.
4. See a therapist
Seeking the assistance of a professional therapist is one great way to identify your triggers and deal with your symptoms effectively. While most people think that social anxiety is just shyness, it actually goes beyond that. It is a mental disorder that sometimes requires professional intervention.
A therapist can help you identify symptoms and triggers and suggest strategies that can help you deal with them. In cases where your social anxiety has a physical cause, a therapist can recommend you to a psychiatrist for proper treatment.
5. Identify triggers
It is very important that you identify any triggers that can cause anxiety. Most times, individuals who suffer from social anxiety are triggered by any form of social situation, especially when strangers are involved; however, there are certain conditions that make it worse for some people.
Victims of traumatic experiences are particularly triggered when they find themselves in situations or with people things bring back the memories of the anguish they experienced. A typical example is developing social anxiety around men after being raped by a man or getting anxious around tall women after being bullied by a tall woman.
Identifying triggers can help you take deliberate steps toward dealing with your situation. It can also equip your therapist with sufficient information that will help them guide you towards making positive changes to deal with your situation.
6. Practice relaxation techniques
Social anxiety can cause physical and behavioral symptoms to manifest. You can deal with these symptoms by practicing a few relaxation techniques such as controlled breathing, speaking positive words to yourself, and stretching. These techniques can help you feel better by reducing the tension that you feel.
7. Keep your mind occupied and challenge negative thoughts
Sufferers of social anxiety may find themself thinking a lot when they feel they have made a social blunder. This could happen when they say something that they shouldn’t or when they laugh at the wrong time.
If you ever find yourself in one of these situations, you do not have to dwell on them and beat yourself up. Chances are that every other person present at that time has already forgotten about it. Instead of worrying, keep your mind occupied with something that interests you, like reading a book or listening to music.
Challenging negative thoughts by practicing realistic thinking can also help you get your mind off the awkwardness of the situation. One way to practice realistic thinking is by asking yourself questions about the scenario and providing realistic answers that will absolve you of any negative thoughts. A good example is asking yourself, “what’s the worst that could happen?”
Bottom line
While the tips and tricks we’ve shared can help you deal with your social anxiety, getting medical help is sometimes the best way to help yourself.
Once you’ve taken that first step, you can be confident that you’re on the right track. If you’re suffering from social anxiety, see a doctor and take charge of your mental health.
